When we finally get those two little lines on that pregnancy test our whole life changes. Maybe you have been waiting for this for a long time. Or maybe this is a big surprise and you weren’t expecting it. No matter what the feeling was, your life has immediately changed.
You go from waking up everyday thinking about your to do list and what you want to do, to focusing on that tiny baby growing inside you. You start thinking everything you will need for the baby, getting ready for labor and delivery, and how you are changing.
When baby gets here he/she are the ones getting all the attention. All the comments during pregnancy about how YOU were feeling turn into how is baby, is baby sleeping, is baby growing, how is baby eating.
The focus is no longer on you, your world revolves around this new person you just grew for 9 months, birthed, and now in charge of!
You get lost in that baby, you know every nook and cranny, you know their cry, you know their laugh, you document every new thing baby learns.
But one day after many nights of interrupted sleep, you start to feel off you realize you haven’t read a book for fun in months, you haven’t seen a girlfriend without a baby attached to you, you haven’t done something for YOU in far to long.
What do you even like to do?
These things are all normal. We are meant to put our life to the side so that we learn about our baby and take care of them. But one day you will realize you need an hour for yourself and that's okay!
Many moms feel lost in this moment. But what should I do? Housework? Shop? Drink coffee? Take bath?
Society and influencers have really promoted that everything can be solved with a bath and a glass of wine.
But what if you hate baths and wine.
Here are 3 ways you can find the things you love again.
1. Sit in silence. Find a space where it is quite, no podcast on, no music, no tv in the background. Enjoy the silence let yourself sit with what comes into your mind and just be there. Will it be uncomfortable and weird and you might want to run away? YES. But there is magic in that silence, things will start to come up, events will come up that you might need to process. Events that took place during birth or during that first year postpartum. Let your self be uncomfortable there. Let yourself process them.
2. Journal - Journaling does not have to be this beautifully written and a meaningful reflection of your life. It SHOULD be messy, it should be for your eyes only, it just feel uncomfortable at times. When we start to write about life things will come out of our pen that we might not be expecting. Thoughts, ideas, and feelings will come out that will surprise us. That is a good things. Those thoughts, ideas, and feelings may be the the things that are holding us back from finding what we love again. Don’t know where to start? Set the timer for 5 mins and start writing your birth story.
3. Communicate with your partner that you need time to breath. You need time to sit in silence. Talk to your partner about how they can support you to find that time so that you can become the best mom and wife you can be. Tell them how much time you need and when you want that time. Put it on the calendar and make it a date that you do not break! Even if the chores are behind and the baby is crying. Your partner is capable and if they aren’t they will be soon.
Motherhood is complicated and hard if we don’t take the time to have moments to our self we won’t be the mother, wife, friend, daughter, sister, that we want to be in the world.
I challenge you to do these 3 things this week. Start with number 3, talk to your partner and get that silent time on the calendar, grab that journal that has random things in it and start writing in silence.
Leave a comment and let me know how it goes.